For Us
by Wepdiggy
Summary: Locked away from the world, Sarah receives a special visitor on Christmas day. Written for Zeretica in the 2009 Holiday Fic Exchange organized by Mikki13. Angst warning! Happy holidays!


_Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck. That's owned by NBC, WB, and College Hill Productions. I also don't own Christmas. And being born a Jew, it's REALLY not my holiday, but I like giving presents, so I celebrate anyway. _

_A/N: This fic is written for __**Zeretica**__ as part of the Holiday Fic Exchange Challenge. She asked for __**a stuffed animal shaped like an angel fish, a purple bottle, moonlight or Christmas lighting that forms a letter/word/picture/symbol that holds some meaning to either Chuck or Sarah**__, but didn't want the story to include __**Slash, the Buy More crew, everything turning out to be a dream (meaning, whatever happened to Sarah must be real**__. The requested pairing was __**Chuck/Sarah**__, and the prompt was "__**Long-term hospitalized Sarah (due to injury/sickness/etc.., the reason for Sarah's extended hospital stay is up to you) has grown depressed during her many months in the hospital. Chuck brings Christmas to Sarah to brighten her mood**__." One quick warning: this is not your typical holiday story. There are certainly some things in it that are kind of angsty, but it fits into the prompt I was given, and hopefully it's still entertaining. Merry Christmas, __**Z**__, and I hope I don't disappoint. And Merry Christmas to all the readers. Hope you enjoy it, and please review. Thanks!

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**For Us, Forever**

**Classified Government Psychiatric Hospital  
Fairfax, Virginia  
December 25, 2012  
**

Sarah awoke with a sigh. It's not that she had to wake up then. It didn't really matter when she woke up, she'd still be in her room with its plain white walls. She'd still be in her less than comfortable bed. She'd still be lonely.

True, it was Christmas, and she could go sit with the other patients and "celebrate" the holiday if she wanted, but why bother? She didn't talk to any of them, nor did she want to talk to any of them. And when her antisocial behavior became apparent, the staff at the hospital would give her a hard time, and would eventually send her back to her room.

So she decided it was best to cut out the middle man and just stay in her room from the onset. She was fine being alone, anyway. Really, she was. She was used to it at this point. All she needed was her stuffed angel fish named Reggie. Reggie was really her only friend left in the world. He was the only one she could talk to, anyway. And since no one ever came to visit her, it would probably remain that way.

"I remember when I gave you that," said a masculine voice from somewhere in the room.

Sarah jumped at the sound of the voice. She hadn't sensed another presence. But she knew that voice. She knew it better than she knew her own. "Chuck?" she asked slightly, the strains of sleep and years of not talking prevalent in her scratchy voice.

"Merry Christmas, Sarah," Chuck said from his position in the chair in the corner of her room.

Sarah frowned. "Why are you here?" she asked.

"I'm here to see you, of course," he said matter-of-factly.

"You've never come to see me before. Not since I've been here," she said sadly.

"I know," Chuck sighed. "And I'm sorry about that, Sarah. But you know why I haven't come."

Sarah nodded. "I know," she admitted. She then leaned back against the steel bars that served as a headboard to her uncomfortable hospital bed. "It's good to see you," she said shyly, hugging Reggie close to her chest.

Chuck got up from his chair and slowly crossed the room. He sat down on the bed next to Sarah and grabbed her hand. "I've missed you," he said.

"But why now?" Sarah asked, her brow crinkling with worry. "Why after all this time have you come now?"

Chuck looked at her thoughtfully for a moment. Then: "It's Christmas," he said as if it explained everything. "No one should be alone on Christmas. Especially not you."

Sarah laughed mirthlessly. "If anyone deserves to be alone on Christmas, it's me," she said.

"Sarah, that's not true!" Chuck said.

"It is true, Chuck. It's all my fault that I'm alone. That I'm here. That I don't get to see you anymore," she said sadly.

"No, Sarah. It's not your fault. You couldn't have known –"

"I don't want to talk about it!" Sarah said loudly. Then she calmed down a little. "I just, please, can we not talk about it?" she asked softly.

"It's your day, Sarah. We don't have to talk about anything you don't want to. But can I ask you something?"

Sarah looked at him for a moment, thinking about his request. But this was Chuck. She loved Chuck. Certainly she could answer a question for him. "Sure," she said.

"Why are you still here?" he asked.

"I'm sick," Sarah said plainly.

Chuck sighed. By the look on his face, Sarah could tell that he wasn't going to push it further, and for that she was grateful.

"Don't you want to go outside with all the other patients?" Chuck asked, changing the subject.

"I thought you were only going to ask one question?" Sarah teased, hoping to avoid this particular piece of conversation. But Chuck didn't seem to be falling for her deflection as he just stared at her like a disapproving father. She sighed. "No, I don't want to go out there. They all…" She paused, swallowing a lump in her throat. "They judge me."

"How do you know, if you never give them a chance?" Chuck asked.

"I just do!" Sarah said firmly. "They don't understand! They can't understand!" she said defiantly.

"You can't hide forever, Sarah," Chuck said softly.

"Why not?"

"Because," Chuck said. "You just can't. Eventually, you have to let someone else in. Not for them, but for yourself."

Sarah looked down at her hands. "Just – just not today, okay? I just want to be with you today."

Chuck sighed again. "Okay, I'll make you a deal," he said.

"I'm listening," Sarah replied.

"I'll stay here all day. It will just be me and you. But when I leave, tomorrow, you have to start letting people in. You have to start making new friends. And you have to get better and get out of here."

Tears began to form in Sarah's eyes. "I don't want to do that," she admitted. "Because when I do that, it's like –"

"It means that it's real," Chuck finished for her.

"Yeah," Sarah breathed. "I'm not ready to move on, Chuck."

"Hey," he said, lightly lifting her chin to look at him. "I'm not asking you to move on. I'm not asking you to leave everything behind. But you have to keep living," he said. "Can you do that?" he asked softly. "For me?"

Sarah looked away again, the emotion she knew shown in her eyes too much to let him see. "I'll try," she said with a sigh. "But for now, will you just lay here with me? Hold me?"

Chuck gazed into Sarah's eyes for a long moment, and she knew he could see her vulnerability. She didn't care. Wordlessly, Chuck crawled in the bed beside her, holding her in his arms, stroking her hair, and whispering quiet nothings as she drifted back to sleep.

……

_Sarah ran through the darkened alley. Police sirens blared in the background, but she paid them no mind. She just kept running, her shoes splashing water from the rain soaked pavement with every step. _

"_Chuck!" she hollered. But there was no response. "Chuck! Where are you?" she continued, her voice the very picture of panic. _

_It was supposed to be a normal day. In fact, it was supposed to be a day off. She had taken the opportunity for down time to just relax all alone in her room and catch up on some reading. Chuck had called her five times, but she'd allowed it to go to voicemail each time. _

_Things hadn't been great between them since he'd uploaded the new Intersect. She felt betrayed in a way that Chuck had made the decision to remain a spy, and with out even consulting her. Yeah, she knew it was a little unfair that she'd taken her frustration out on him, but she knew that if anyone could put up with her many quirks, it was Chuck. _

_And they had all the time in the world. Eventually, they would work things out, and she'd forgive him, and he would forgive her, and they'd go back to being friends, and maybe more. Maybe some day. _

_But then the call from Casey had come. Chuck, unable to reach Sarah, had followed the lead on some foreign agent he'd flashed on in the supermarket. He'd tailed the guy, and had tracked him back to a fleabag motel. That's when, according to Casey, Chuck had been made. The enemy agent and his cohorts began to pursue Chuck. _

_Chuck had been able to allude them for a while, but eventually, they'd pinned him down. And with no backup, even Intersect 2.0 couldn't help him. He'd gotten stuck. _

_By the time Sarah arrived on the scene, the other agents were gone. She found Chuck's watch at the beginning of the alley, and then she'd begun her frantic sprint to find him. To make sure he was still alive. _

"_Chuck!" she called out again, now almost in tears. Then she heard it. It was faint, but it was unmistakably Chuck's voice. _

"_Sarah!" she heard him call out weakly. _

_Then she saw him, balled up against a dumpster, holding his side. She rushed over to him, kneeling down and taking him in her arms. That's when she saw the large blood stain on his shirt that seemed to be growing by the second. _

"_Chuck! You've been shot!" she cried. _

_Chuck laughed mirthlessly. "Yeah, they got in a lucky shot, but I still think I won the fight. You should see them," he joked. _

_Tears began to stream down Sarah's face. "Don't joke about this, Chuck. We have to get you some help."_

"_No, Sarah," he said, grabbing her arm. "It's too late."_

"_Don't say that, Chuck!" she demanded. "You're not going to leave me!"_

"_Sarah," he said through ragged breathes. "I love you."_

_And that's when the dam broke, and Sarah began to sob in earnest. She couldn't even manage to say a word. She just held him close until she saw the light go out behind his eyes. _

"_Noooo!" she wailed into the chilly night sky. But no one was listening. Chuck was dead, and she'd never even told him how much he meant to her. How much she loved him._

……

"No!" Sarah cried, waking in a cold sweat, her eyes full of tears. She looked around her surroundings, and found herself still in her bed, in her hospital room, with Chuck right behind her.

"Sarah," Chuck said concerned. "Are you alright?"

"I had the dream again," she murmured.

"Shhh, it's okay," Chuck said soothingly, rocking her back and forth.

"Can you get me my medicine? It's the only thing – it makes the pain go away."

Chuck sighed, picking up the purple bottle of prescription medication from the nightstand. "Sarah, you don't need this," he said.

"Yes I do!" Sarah shrieked. "How can I forget without it?"

"You're the strongest person I know," Chuck whispered. "You can beat this on your own. You just have to want to."

"But I don't want to," Sarah admitted. "I don't want to leave you behind. I – I love you," she said softly.

"I love you, too, Sarah," Chuck said, hugging her close. "And you could never leave me behind. I'll always be with you." He paused, and stood up from the bed. Extending his hand to her, he said, "Come'ere. I want to show you something."

Hesitantly, Sarah took Chuck's hand. He pulled her over to the small window to her room. Sometime during her sleep, night had fallen, and the stars and the moon were out.

"See that?" Chuck asked, pointing to the night sky.

"What?" Sarah asked.

"That crater, right there on the moon," he explained.

"I see it," Sarah said.

"That's where I watch from. Every day, and every night, that's where I sit. And I watch you, and I make sure you're alright. And during the day, when you can't see the moon, I'm still there. I can still see you. So whenever you feel like you need me, just look up at the moon, and know that I'm watching, and I'm with you."

Sarah could sense what was coming next. "Don't leave me," she begged.

"Sarah," Chuck said, lifting her chin to look into her eyes and using his thumb to wipe a tear from her cheek. "I'll never leave you. But I have to go."

"Please, Chuck," Sarah wailed. "You're all I have."

"But you can have so much more," Chuck insisted. "Remember your promise to me?" he asked. Sarah nodded in reply. "Okay, good. So tomorrow, you're going to start making friends. And you're going to meet a lot of new people. And you're going to live your life, because now, you have to live it for both of us, okay?"

"But I don't know if I can do it," she admitted.

"Of course you can," Chuck said with a small, sad smile. "You're Sarah. You can do anything."

"I'll try, Chuck. I'll really try, for you."

"For us," Chuck corrected her.

"For us," Sarah breathed.

"Merry Christmas, Sarah," Chuck said. And with that, he was gone.

"Merry Christmas, Chuck," Sarah said to her empty room. "I'll never forget you."

And when Sarah went to sleep that night, she didn't have the nightmare again. It was the first time since the incident that she didn't. And she couldn't. She knew someone was watching over her.

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_A/N: Merry Christmas, __**Z**__! Hope you liked it. And happy holidays to all! Oh, and you guys are awesome. Peace. _


End file.
